How Bad is It?

Reading the words of the prophet Jeremiah today, and thought about some really bad days I have experienced…

Jer 20:14 ¶ Cursed be the day wherein I was born: let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed.
15 Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man child is born unto thee; making him very glad.

Here we see the heartache of a man of God, at the hands of wicked man, that had obeyed God!

This is no politically correct preaching, but is the Word of God!

How about Job in his affliction:

[ Job Laments His Birth ] After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth

Joseph in prison?

The apostle Paul after being beaten, put in jail and in chains?

I think he wrote these words, back down through the corridor of time, so that we might understand his pain and desperation, we are not alone, and Jesus is worthy of it all…

2 Corinthians 1:8

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.


Truly, they all found victory in God, eventually, but they each, at some point despaired even of life itself.

I am not preaching to everyone today, I am here for someone: Is it you?

I know where you are at. Not specifically, but I think of the years praying for my family through cancer, and then having them die. Shattered, my faith in tatters, pain beyond belief, numb.

Yet, God was with me, and had my resurrection in mind.

He has yours too.

This is not the end of the story, simply a dramatic chapter of your life. Here’s a verse not commonly preached:

Ga 6:17 From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.

There is a place in Jesus, where you realize that no matter what any person might say or do, you are going to live for Jesus. This was the verse the Lord gave me coming off the mission field, after five brutal years. One by one, the people and ministries I had believed in, let me down, and I was left with Jesus, who will never leave nor forsake me.

He sent a servant into my pain, pastor Billy Joe, and somehow he knew, he understood, and he loved me and believed in me, when I did not believe in myself.

I had obeyed God, and lost everything, persecuted, betrayed, abandoned, and broke. Yet, God had my resurrection in mind!
Billy Joe
I know I am speaking to someone here today. He will never leave nor forsake you either. What He said, shall surely come to pass, He cannot lie. People may come and go, but He will remain, and He will bring faithful people to your side, to walk with you throughout this life, and I’m sure, in eternity.

Some old saints used to call these seasons, ‘the long dark night of the soul…’ It will end. There is light at the end of the tunnel, that is not an oncoming train. There is joy and intimacy with Jesus in this place. Talk to Him about it: He knows, He understands, and He loves you.

I am praying for you today, you are not alone. I love you, and I remain, faithful to the call…



I remember the death of my mother and father, after months and years of anguished prayer for their healing. I was devastated, feeling betrayed by God, and went numb inside.

I just gave up on my passionate pursuit of God. Still attended church, and fellow-shipped with friends, but felt like a spectator, totally dis-attached from any feelings. Numb. Then, I was invited to a healing circle with a group of Inuit women.

Felt really out of place, being the only man there, but they were elders in their community, and I was a spiritual leader there, so out of respect for them, I went. We sat in a circle in a classroom in an Inuit school, and someone had brought a boom box, and put on a worship CD from Benny Hinn. We all held hands, and began to pray in tongues, to see what Holy Spirit had in mind for that meeting. One of the elders began to gently weep, then sob, then spoke in Inuk-tutu, that they needed to pray for me, for my broken heart, my ministry.

Someone translated, and I allowed them to gather around me, and began to pray. Gently, they laid hands upon my shoulders, and began to weep, then sob, then groan and wail with an intensity that was pretty freaky at first. Still, I was like a spectator at the event, totally detached from the proceedings. Then as the intensity of their prayer reached a level I had never seen before, the Holy Spirit touched me, and a dam broke over my heart, and a savage river of God’s love and comfort rushed into me, and I began to shake, then sob, then fell on the floor weeping and wailing as God removed mountains of grief, and anger, and stress, and frustration, and misunderstanding from my heart, bringing His comfort, peace, and life to my heart. I knew that I didn’t understand yet, but that I would, and He would explain, and that my calling and election were sure. I walked with these elders for five years of my life, where the deep waters of Gods Spirit live, and miracles are as conman as breathing. Now, it is my turn to groan, weep and wail, for I see again the depth of pain that comes from grief. And so we bear one another’s burdens, so fulfilling the law of Christ.

Let’s Pray:

‘Father, for those who are where I was at, numb from the brutality of trauma, loss, and life, may You meet them in power, in a savage breakthrough of Your love. Just as You raised Jesus from the dead in power, reach into the tomb of where they are, and raise them again into life, love, and passion again. I ask, because You did it for me, and I know I am heard, for I ask in Your name Lord Jesus.’ Amen.