I was awakened, troubled….
Da 4:5 I saw a dream which made me afraid, and the thoughts upon my bed and the visions of my head troubled me.
Suddenly, I saw many people I knew, that have died over the past couple of years, and the Lord caused me to understand why.
Pr 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?
Pr 13:12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
I have seen a number of people suffer physical heart attacks, or simply give up, and die, because the pain of living each day, was simply too much to bear.
I was reminded of the Toronto revival, where God met us, repeatedly on the carpet, in savage inbreakings of His love, and we discovered that we have a Father that loves us, intimately.
I also discovered that I have huge, deep, emotional needs, hungers that only God, in His intimacy can feed and fill.
And so we would meet with God, and sometimes, what had been a silent prison of pain, a silent scream deep inside, was silent no more. We would shout, and weep, and God would come in passion and power, and wreck us, and meet us, and make us whole.
So I saw, so much ministry: filled with revelation, wisdom, strong teaching, and gifts of the Holy Spirit, but missing this one thing: this savage searing presence of our Father, that rips through our shattered walls, and meets us, heart to heart, with a love, intimacy, and passion, that no earthly love can compare to.
And then I saw it. People, good people, like walking zombies. Knowing that the answers they seek are in God somewhere, but stumbling from meeting to meeting, sometimes church to church, aching, seeking, longing for something real, and NOT FINDING IT, and quietly, giving up, and dying and going to heaven to be with Jesus.
God dealt with me that this, this intimacy and deep soaking in His love, must be the heart of all we do, or we will reach people, but not heal hearts, and they will die….
Our vision must be progressive, and there MUST be a corresponding deep move of the Holy Spirit at all times, that continually meets with and transforms wounded people into warriors, or they quietly check out emotionally at first, but physically eventually.
They kept hoping that the Holy Spirit ‘goose-bumps’ might actually meet the desperate needs of their hearts, and if we don’t get to them quick enough, their hearts become sick, and another child of God goes to heaven, earthly destiny unfulfilled, their ministry aborted, before it ever really got off the ground.
Having worked construction for many years, most foundations are made of concrete, and there is a saying: ‘It’s hard to pour concrete in a tornado!’
When a person’s life is shattered, when they did not grow up in a good home, and their foundation is destroyed, and all they feel, is worthlessness, pain, and numbness (because it hurts to much to get in touch with how we really feel), it is very difficult to build in them, a strong foundation in the Word of God!
Sometimes, only a terrifying, deep move of Holy Spirit is the only answer for them, and we, as leaders, must cry out until it comes, and no matter how messy it may look, in disrupting our services, we must let God out of the box, and let Him build, blast, and meet with His children.
If we don’t contend for it. They die, and for me, their blood is on my head, for I KNOW BETTER!
Stand with me, contend with me, for this one thing: this radical intimacy with our Father, that meets us at our deepest point of need, the sweeping winds of heaven, that again move with savage passion and power to reach those outcast, neglected, abandoned, traumatized by the brutality of their lives…
‘Father, you put this in me, this hunger, passion, fervency, and recognition of the needs of Your children. Sweep through my life, blast away my religious habits, and grant again, Your deep, deep waves of searing intimacy, that heal, set free, and fill the deepest hungers, creaks and crevices in my soul. I cry unto you Lord Jesus, do it again, here, and now, Amen’