Qualifications for Ministry

I read this some years ago, and as I stand against some wonderful symptoms in my body and my family, it made me chuckle this morning. Hope you like it! C

THE MINISTER

One of the toughest tasks a church faces is choosing a good minister.

A member of an official board undergoing this painful process finally lost
patience. He’d just witnessed the Pastoral Relations Committee reject
applicant after applicant for some minor fault – real or imagined. It was
time for a bit of soul-searching on the part of the committee. So he stood
up and read this letter purporting to be from another applicant.

Gentlemen: Understanding your pulpit is vacant, I should like to apply for
the position. I have many qualifications. I’ve been a preacher with much
success and also had some success as a writer. Some say I’m a good
organizer. I’ve been a leader most places I’ve been.

I’m over 50 years of age and have never preached in one place for more than three years. In some places, I have left town after my work caused riots and disturbances. I must admit I have been in jail three or four times, but not because of any real wrongdoing.

My health is not too good, though I still accomplish a great deal. The
churches I have preached in have been small, though located in several large
cities. I’ve not gotten along well with religious leaders in the towns where
I have preached. In fact, some have threatened me, and even attacked me
physically. I am not too good at keeping records. I have been known to
forget whom I have baptized. However, if you can use me, I promise to do my best for you.

The board member turned to the committee and said, “Well, what do you think?

Shall we call him?”

The good church folks were appalled! Consider a sickly, trouble-making,
absent-minded ex-jailbird? Was the board member crazy? Who signed the
application? Who had such colossal nerve?

The board member eyed them all keenly before he replied, “It’s signed, ‘The
Apostle Paul.’”